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Pappa leave: doing it better

7/8/2016

15 Comments

 
Dad father on shared parental leave SPL in Sweden with baby in carrier
Whilst Little Bear and I were in Sweden, we didn't just eat cinnamon buns and listen to ABBA (although this we did as well), we also got talking to people about parental leave, and noticed that there were a lot more dads around looking after babies than in London. I normally think of London as pretty forward thinking, but it's got nothing on Sweden.

​What's the best recipe for letting dads play their part in parenting? Given the benefits of shared parenting and the big public support for sharing parenting more equally, the UK should be looking at what can be done to make it easier for dads to choose a more active role in fatherhood. To do that we need to address the 2 problems raised in my earlier post on the lack of dads in baby-care London...
​Compared to most countries outside of Europe, the UK doesn't have a bad deal for dads wanting to care for new babies. In the US, mums get 12 weeks unpaid that she can give to dad if she has any left (unlikely). A little more generous, in Iran dads are given 2 weeks at full pay! A few developing countries have something in place for mums, but nothing for dads.
UK deal
Mums have the right to share 50 weeks of parental leave with their partner.
​
​For 39 of these weeks, mum or dad (who's looking after the baby) gets just £140 a week. Employers sometimes top this up for the first few months, mainly for the mum to take

​But we shouldn't be comparing the UK to countries like the US or Iran. And we're not a developing country! We should aim for the best if we can afford it, and look to the best for how to get things done. We should be looking at the rest of Europe for guidance, not Angola.

​Turns out the UK deal isn't all that great. The problem is the number of dads on parental leave is really low in the UK, and money and employer prejudice seem to be big problems. £140 doesn't go far at all at covering someone's wages. When dad earns more, it doesn't make sense for a family to lose his wage rather than mum's when someone needs to look after the baby. And when dads feel their career might suffer a lot, their going to be reluctant to take the leave.

Looking back to Sweden and its Nordic neighbors, they seem to be doing something right. Speaking to parents, grandparents and on-lookers when I was there, they're saying dads are expected to take at least several months off, if not more, to look after their babies. Family and friends expect it, employers expect it, and mums expect it. So when a dad wants to spend some of those precious first few months with his little kiss-cucumber, sweet-nose, or charm-troll [love Swedish baby names], he's not pressured into skipping it. 
Picture
​What's more, for a large part of it, his wages are also protected! So the family doesn't have to make the tough financial decision to let him take the time. Dads are taking the leave, and people, including their employers, are expecting them to take it! A triple win for the family.
The Nordics use two ingredients to make their pappa leave work.

  1. The sharable parental leave is paid at 80% of your salary for roughly 13 (Sweden) or 15 (Norway) months. This means that losing dad's wages if he decides to do his part in bringing up the baby isn't such a big issue.
  2. Dads have some of this leave reserved just for them! Around 3 months in both countries is given to each parent, with the remainder being split however they want. This breaks down the expectations that dads shouldn't be taking the parental leave when mum's around. When they have their own leave, it's daft not to use it.
Picture
When Sweden introduced just one month for the dads alone, this had a huge impact on boosting the number of dads who felt they could take parental leave, with blokes taking around a quarter of all parental leave days. Recently the pappa-reserved leave has tripled, so the impact could be even bigger.
 
It's these two things, financial support for parental leave when it's dad's turn to take it, and time reserved just for the dad, the deal with the two problems shared parental leave is facing in the UK. It's worth us taking this seriously.
15 Comments
Michelle link
13/11/2016 10:07:10 pm

Really great leave and something I didn't know Bournemouth Sweden. If only England could take a leaf out of their book #EatSleepBlogRT

Reply
Sarah - Mum & Mor link
14/11/2016 08:24:53 am

I live in Denmark. My husband was able to take 5 weeks off. He still has a lot of paternity leave left to take too. He's spacing it out rather than taking the whole time together. Scandinavia is very parent-friendly, not only with the parental leave, but the affordable childcare too. I hope my native Britain will take note. #EatSleepBlogRT

Reply
Dave
4/3/2017 07:58:58 am

Hi Sarah - a wise move to have kids in Scandinavia on your part! I hope the UK will one day catch up too

Reply
Adventures of Mummy and Me link
14/11/2016 04:04:16 pm

This is great. I'm so envious of the freedom you get in Sweden! We were lucky that our son was born just after the shared parental leave was introduces. So we both took 6 months leave each to make up the year... My husband enjoyed it so much he left work to become a full-time SAHP! the only downside is the low number of groups, and activities available for dads during the week! #EatSleepBlogRT

Reply
Five little doves link
14/11/2016 05:10:47 pm

Oh wow I didn't know about this either. My husband got just one week and even that wasn't full pay. It was especially hard as my youngest two were in neonatal for the first few weeks so we didn't get the benefit of any of his leave for bonding with the baby and the family at home. #marvmondays

Reply
Dave
4/3/2017 08:03:23 am

That's really tough, sorry to hear that. It's a pity his employer couldn't step up and help out either!

Reply
My Petit Canard link
18/11/2016 08:10:09 pm

This is a huge deal. I completely agree that in the UK we dont do enough to encourage and support fathers to be able to take shared paternity leave. It is one thing having the infrastructure in place (the ability for fathers to take parental leave), but the biggest thing that we need to work on is the expectation and normalising fathers taking parental leave. There is a huge culture shift that needs to happen and you only begin to realise that when you look at countries like Sweden. I was aware that they set the bar high, but I had no idea on the details and find this information absolutely fascinating so thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily

Reply
Dave
4/3/2017 08:01:01 am

Thanks Emily! Really hope we can catch up with Sweden one day

Reply
Lucy's Locket link
19/11/2016 03:20:24 am

What a great program! In Australia dads get 2 weeks leave paid at the minimum wage. The primary care giver (mum, dad or split) gets 14 weeks at minimum wage. It doesn't go far, but it's a start!

Reply
Petite Pudding link
19/11/2016 12:55:54 pm

I wish that the UK had a shared leave policy like Norway and Sweden. It really is only the financial constraints that stopped us sharing parental leave. My other half would love to take the time with the children but we just can't afford too #eatsleepblogrt

Reply
Dave
4/3/2017 07:57:16 am

Totally believe it. It's a serious problem!

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Chloe link
21/9/2018 06:46:47 am

Hi, fascinating read things have improved in the UK but could certainly do more and look at the success from Sweden #thatfridaylinky

Reply
Enda Sheppard link
21/9/2018 05:27:49 pm

Really interesting, and continued proof of the enlightenment of our Nordic friends when it comes to matters familial.#ThatFridayLinky

Reply
Nigee link
23/9/2018 07:12:57 am

Sweden is certainly leading the way the U.K. looks like it is still in the dark ages in comparison very interesting read Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

Reply
jeremy@thirstydaddy link
24/9/2018 12:31:20 am

I've heard this before about Sweden and am jealous. Here in the States a man trying to get leave to bond with his baby is still looked at as absurd #thatfridaylinky

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    I'm Dave, dad of Little Bear. Also known as 'Pappa' to the little man as we try and bring out his Swedish roots

    My wife and I are sharing the troubles and joys of bringing up Little Bear equally. This is about my half of the time being responsible for not breaking the baby

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