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Conversation starters: why babies are like dogs

16/5/2017

19 Comments

 
Happy baby little bear in playground spring morning dads turn SPL
You’ll have to excuse the optimism, but there’s no time of year and day quite like a spring morning. An early start, the air is crisp and sweet, the sky is blue, the shadows long.
 
Living in London, a faint glimmer of sunshine means our local playground is packed during the day: queues to the swings, chaos on the slides, carnage on the roundabouts and a highly stressed guy at the ice-cream stand trying to keep up with the constant flow of grumpy, happy or hyperactive children. Trying to get Little Bear on a swing can involve a five minutes wait, which doesn’t make sense in a toddler’s world-view so involves 5 minutes of stopping him from throwing himself at the other children on the swings. A trip up the ladder to the slide is equally tough, with inevitable disaster when he tries to climb back up the slide when he gets to the bottom. ‘No baby! No! ‘t ‘genst rules baby! Stop!’ shouts the 3-year-old who can’t understand why Little Bear doesn’t know the ways of the playground yet. Then,like soft-play only with concrete floors, comes the inevitable head kicks from older kids and the toddler tumbles.
Back to Spring mornings: the other great thing you don’t think about pre-baby, is the silence. No-body else is around save the occasional jogger. Try the London playground setting at 6:30 in the morning… Peace. Since Little Bear’s up at 6 and Pappa has morning duty on the weekends, why not? A huge playground almost entirely for the Little Bear. ‘Screw the rules Pappa! I’m climbing up this slide and there’s no ugly 3-year-old to shout at me! Allons-y! Freedom!’ . Go Little Bear.
 
I say there’s no-one, but the last few times we’ve found parents there who have had the same thought. Usually just one set with a babba about the same size as Little Bear.
 
Dog-owners will often say that dogs are a great way of striking up conversation with strangers. Your dog plays with other dogs and you talk to the owners (normally about dogs). Kids and adults alike look at your dog and want to stroke it: ‘isn’t it so fluffy/tiny/huge/adorable’ etc.
 
Babies are like dogs. Last week Little Bear met a baby in one of the quiet early morning playground tunnels. After the little guys had exchanged a few words and made a few attempts at gouging out each other’s eyes, the dad and I got talking. We’ve met up with them a couple of times since. This week, Little Bear was sitting on his swing listening to familiar noises coming from the mum of the only other baby there. They were Swedish noises. Pappa got talking (about the babies of course, great conversation pieces) and now we have some Swedish speaking friends in the neighbourhood.
 
I’ve sat down on my own in a lot of cafes across the city to enjoy a coffee whilst reading on my laptop. No-one ever talks to you. Of course not, we’re in London, not the countryside (or Paris where everyone seems to want to voice their opinions to strangers). Everyone minds their own business.
 
No longer so with Little Bear in tow. Especially other parents who spot the little troll running around my legs and trying to bite my finger (on the weekend you’ll see a lot more dads out, often as a family, but on the week-days, it’s almost exclusively mums). Nearly every time we sit down for lunch or break when out, the chatting will start (normally when one of the tots tries to attack the other one, steal their toy, or start playing peak-a-boo with the stranger).
 
Who would have thought pre-baby, that there’s a vast day-time community of parents who come out in force and readily start chatting to each other with their buggies and little people. Minding your own business like a good Londoner becomes a lot harder when you have a teddy-bear like accessory following you around. Having a baby in London, you start to realise just how many sides the city has to it.

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19 Comments
Fiona Cambouropoulos link
22/5/2017 02:04:25 pm

I totally get this even though I don't have a dog! All my closest friendships stem from when the children were young and meeting other parents. Young children are a great reason to get out and about and start friendships. #MarvMondays

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mummy here and there link
22/5/2017 06:16:04 pm

Interesting points made and can see the link X #marvmondays

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Fran Back With A Bump link
23/5/2017 12:13:21 pm

This is so true! Suddenly you're in the same club and conversation is so much easier. Thanks for linking to #marvmondays

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Imperfect Mum link
25/5/2017 08:44:49 pm

Having a baby and a dog definitely does make people more ready to communicate and as most parents know it can be lonely spending all day with a kid too so I think it makes them more open to talking too. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

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Tammymum link
25/5/2017 08:55:41 pm

Ha yes it's strange going out with a baby is like your armour. It's your pass to start talking to other people with babies and you can always find something to talk about! Even in big ol London! #ablogginggoodtime

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Lucy At Home link
25/5/2017 09:23:17 pm

Hehe yes it's very true that kids can be a conversation starter. I think it's lovely that kids are so brilliant at just making friends because they're in the same park. As adults, we could learn a lot from them #sharingthebloglove

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Laura - Postcards For Findlay link
26/5/2017 11:38:02 am

Totally agree with this! As the owner of s very cute (but totally crazy!) cockapoo and an equally adorable 9 month old we get a double whammy of stoppers! It's amazing how when you're having a really sh*tty day, having someone come up to you in the park and tell you how lovely they are, or that you're doing a great job, can really boost your mood.

Thanks for sharing #thatfridaylinky

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Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons link
26/5/2017 04:29:57 pm

I've found exactly the same - I'm not one for striking up conversation (perhaps why I was so happy living in London!), but since having my son I've got so much better at small talk with strangers. I'm always happy to chat about my son - he's the one subject I'm an expert on! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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Its Adam Again link
27/5/2017 11:15:46 am

It took me a while to adjust to this new world of communication, particularly with mums, but now I am quite comfortable starting a conversation with another parent. #ThatFridayLinky

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Laura - Dear Bear and Beany link
28/5/2017 10:15:22 pm

So true! When I had a dog everyone would talk to me about dogs and I really was not a big dog fan, I just loved my dog! But since being a mum everyone now talks to me about my children a subject I'm much better at. It can be a bit annoying when you are sleep deprived and just want 5 minutes peace while they are happy in the swing! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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Nige link
29/5/2017 07:23:57 am

I can definitely see the comparison love it Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

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Lianne Freeman link
31/5/2017 07:05:48 am

This is so true I speak to so many people and start conversation now I have the children #bestandworst

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Briony link
31/5/2017 07:35:32 am

Kids are an easy way to start a conversation, obvious common ground. Anywhere I go with my boy there's a smile or nod to be shared. More often than not there's a little chat too #bestandworst

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helen gandy link
31/5/2017 09:38:07 pm

I can only imagine, I think things very much change when you have children, people want to chat more. THanks for linking up #bestandworst

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Emma T tranger. link
1/6/2017 01:33:36 pm

I found the baby and toddler years were the most chatty with strangers. Now N's 6yo, it seems to be back to not talking - at least to parents with kids the same age.

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mymummymanual link
1/6/2017 09:03:23 pm

This is so true! Everyone wants to stop and chat - and my baby loves to chat (grab at..) others babies #sharingthebloglove

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Mummy Snowy Owl link
2/6/2017 11:52:30 pm

This is so true! Somehow you become friends with other parents instantly!
#sharingthebloglove

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Suchitra link
4/6/2017 07:12:03 pm

So true! So true! I usually like those times when people will compliment my kiddos or start chatting about kids or being mommies or just insignificant small talk. Usually.
I am all for striking up random conversations with other parents but I get really grumpy when other parents with whom I try to strike up a chat, ignore or seem uninterested. I am a forgiving person - who knows what new drama their kids brought on them that day and here I am making them talk when all they want is some quiet while the kid is running crazy around the playground - I get it but a smile or a reciprocal compliment on my kid (however fake) is appreciated. We live in a community, folks! Oh well...This was a fun read. #SharingtheBlogLove

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Daydreams of a mum link
6/6/2017 11:29:29 am

Yes!! This is so true. It's kind of like a secret gang where it's OK to have surreal chats with strangers! #sharingthebloglove

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    I'm Dave, dad of Little Bear. Also known as 'Pappa' to the little man as we try and bring out his Swedish roots

    My wife and I are sharing the troubles and joys of bringing up Little Bear equally. This is about my half of the time being responsible for not breaking the baby

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