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Working dad: whilst sharing parenting

11/6/2016

8 Comments

 
Working dad holding baby son boy after work before shared parental leave SPL
​My wife goes back to work on Tuesday and I'll start my turn on parental leave. So looking back, what’s it been like sharing parenting and working full-time? Over the last 5 months, we’ve been sharing parenting during the weekends and evenings, with her looking after the Little Bear full-time whilst I’m at work Monday to Thursday. It’s good to be reminded of what it feels like to be the more traditional working but active dad.

Three weeks after Little Bear arrived (probably the toughest life change to date), I went back to work. Travelling a lot with my job meant that a day after getting back to the office, I was on the plane to Vienna. ​ 
​I won’t lie, I was very excited about the prospect of my first full night sleep in a hotel, with no baby interruptions. Unfortunately, due to the psychological trauma we had faced over the last few weeks, I woke up every hour startled, looking for a crying Little Bear. I probably felt more exhausted when I got back to London than when I set out… Since then, each time I’m abroad for work, I’ve been faced with mixed feelings: I’ve enjoyed the break, but also really missed my buddies (baby and his mamma) back at home...

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Planning ahead: 6 months with baby

5/6/2016

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Only a week to go before my parental leave (SPL) starts, so it's worth recalling what I plan to do with Little Bear during our special time together. I hate 'wasting time' and I love travelling, so what better way to spend my SPL than travelling with the Little Bear? When Charlotte was pregnant, I began to make some grand plans. This was gonna be a few months with my little guy, doing everything. 
He was going to be (and still will be) my little buddy, strapped to dad's chest on our adventures together. All I would need was milk, a change of baby clothes and a few nappies, and we'd be ready. Whilst travelling, I was thinking of picking up a new language,  seeing various friends spread across the country, and in between trips, carrying on with a part-time degree. He'll sleep loads of the day anyway...

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Little Personalities

1/6/2016

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​Every parent wants to know what sort of person their little trolls will become as they get bigger. I wanna know not just what Little Bear will be but who he'll be. Will he be an introverted angel, or a hyperactive and sociable terror? Will he charm everyone who meets him, or be known as a bookish grump? Be an image of Buddha, or comedy genius?
​What can we tell about future personalities from how babies act? Based on little evidence, I think sparks of their personalities are already starting to show at 5 months. Not having seen this all before, I could be totally wrong. But I think I'm seeing some clear signs of who the Little Bear might turn out to be...

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changing family language

26/5/2016

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Bilingual Swenglish baby with Swedish flag little bear
I really want the Little Bear to speak at least two languages, and it's all the rage now for kids to grow up bilingual. We're told it's better for their brains, and unsurprisingly, for their language skills.

Since his mother's side of the family is Swedish, he'll also need to be speaking the language to feel properly at home when we visit. Although, not as critical as you might think, since all Swede's seem to speak better English than we do here. But it'll be an important part of his identity.

Tiny people seem to learn languages better than big people, so when they're tiny is clearly the best place to start. All you have to do is speak to them in the right language, simple. My wife can speak her mother-tongue and English fluently, and I can just about manage with both. So we're all set to go. Should be easy?
It's not easy. Especially if your an native English speaker with poor language skills. Not hard like having a baby, that's mainly exhausting with lots of easy cool stuff at the end. It's more hard like learning to ski when you're in your 20s/30s...

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cooler than his parents

21/5/2016

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My wife and I have very different attitudes to sunlight. I like it. She hates it. Unfortunately, being a winter baby, the Little Bear seems to be following his mother's opinion. Every time he gets exposed to light outside during the day (even in the shade) his little eye squint up and he'll start waving his tiny hands around in protest.

​Unlike during his first month or two, now when it's bedtime it's still light outside, and even with only a small crack of light coming through the curtains, he still complains and only sleeps with a melodramatic pose: his arm covering his eyes with his nose pointing upwards in protest. He can only cope going outside for more than a few minutes if we put a hand over his eyes or pull the hood fully over the pushchair. Even then, his normally happy face looks quite grumpy from the rays.
​Some people have said that we should 'just get him use to it' which sounds pretty cruel. 'Here little guy who only discovered his foot last week, I'll expose you to prolonged discomfort you can't escape from so that you can toughen up for the world...'. A slippery slope.
 ​Instead, I did some searching and found these awesome sunglasses.
Have not seen such a cool baby. He puts his daddy to shame. His spirits on outdoor trips were lifted, we don't have to cover his little face up every time we leave the house, and on top of all this, he looks like a dude.

Surprisingly they also stay on his head most of the time, although he occasionally removes them to give them a lick [giving us a guilty look when we catch him doing it]. So apparently they're tasty to.
I would highly recommend sunnies for any winter babies.
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So fast!

19/5/2016

2 Comments

 
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"from vegetable to babbling yoga master in just a couple of months"
Little Bear's come a long way. It feels like only a short while ago that this now fairly hyperactive, interactive little monkey just lay there immobile, unable to follow objects with his eyes or understand that his wobbly arms were attached to his body.

​Just after he was born he went yellow, which is apparently bad, so we went back into to hospital for 3 days (of no sleep just after 2 days of labour!) to put him under a blue light in the hope of turning him pink again. [notice the cool sun mask]. 
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During the whole thing, he barely moved at all, unless to whimper that he was hungry (every 30 minutes unfortunately for his mum). And he certainly didn't interact with anything around him, save the occasional stare into people's eyes.

​In stark contrast, he now aptly grabs his toes while folding up into an agile yoga position, explaining to us that his feet are the most exciting thing since the discovery of his fingers only weeks earlier. By explaining, I mean rambling, squeaking and occasionally blowing raspberries: so copying his parents...

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    I'm Dave, dad of Little Bear. Also known as 'Pappa' to the little man as we try and bring out his Swedish roots

    My wife and I are sharing the troubles and joys of bringing up Little Bear equally. This is about my half of the time being responsible for not breaking the baby

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  • Home
  • Becoming a Nordic Dad
  • Raising Little Bear
    • Latest posts
    • Little Personalities
    • Dads are parents too
    • During Parental Leave
    • Early days
    • Tips for parents
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  • Contact