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Becoming a
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What makes Scandinavians the happiest and most successful people in the world? Why does the Nordic way of doing things seem to work so well? I have a theory: quite unprovable, and a little controversial. I think there’s an explanation for why Stockholm has one of the highest concentrations of tech start-ups in the world per capita, why Finland has the best education system in the world, why Nordic countries always hit the top of the world happiness and welfare tables and why life expectancy in Norway is practically 100.
I recon it’s largely down to how they raise their kids. Happy babies and happy parents make happy and successful societies. Get it right from the start, and your setting up a whole generation of new little Vikings for living a good life and expecting it from those around them. I might be biased being Little Bear’s Pappa, so I think I need to test out my theory a little more. Which got me thinking: why not move there and find out?... Ok, so there are a couple of other reasons to move to Scandinavia as well, but to avoid the politics, let’s just focus on this one. London is an amazing place to be born, live and raise a family in. Despite our reputation, Londoners are a neighbourly bunch, welcoming people from all over the world, with 40% of the population born outside of the little island it’s perched on. It’s a really vibrant and great place to call home, and we’ve been lucky enough to get to start our family in Greenwich, which is a particular gem of the city. But our time here is closing, we’ve packed up the house (freaking Little Bear out in the process), nearly all our possessions (70% toys, of which over half is his train set) have been sent ahead, and soon we’ll be landing in Stockholm to start a new family chapter. I think along with many of the friends we’re leaving, and countless other parents in the English-speaking world, parenting is changing rapidly. Parents are becoming nicer and more tolerant to their kids, they are increasingly leaning away from overbearing discipline and seeing their role as just training little adults, and thinking more about kids as kids, and how parents can get their little people to have fun. But there is something different about the Nordic approach to kids, something deeper in Nordic culture. I can’t put my finger on it, but it seems like a different cultural starting point to how kids are seen in Nordic countries compared to where I grew up. This isn’t to say that Danish parents wont shout at their kids, or Swedes wont lose their cool when their kids keep on ignoring them. Of course these things happen in the ‘North’. But from my experience, they happen far less often, and the cultural attitudes to kids and childcare lean the other way, expecting more tolerance from parents and other adults towards the little trolls that are just starting to learn the way in the world. I was initially sceptical about this approach to kids, it seemed to remove a lot of the things we’re trained in the English-speaking world to think are essential in bringing up responsible and self-reliant citizens. But I cannot see any evidence of a modern race of violent, irresponsible or clingy adults occupying the Nordic countries. The Viking age is long over, and the Scandinavians I know are generally smart, well-balanced and content people. In fact, the evidence of where these countries tend to score in international league tables tends put them way up top. I want to find out just what the differences, good andbad, are. So now we’re moving to Stockholm, in the heart of ‘the North’, and I’ll be settling Little Bear in to his new home while my wife starts work. It’ll be more than just trips to Ikea, talking hurdy-gurdy and snacking on cinnamon buns (although it’ll include these too of course). Moving your family within one country is difficult, so I imagine starting afresh in a different country all together, with different friends, attitudes and nursery rhymes is going to be pretty tough. But the long-term goal I’ll be keeping in mind is to see just how different approaches to kids are in Nordic countries compared to the English-speaking world. To see just what it takes move from being a Londoner to becoming a Nordic Dad.
15 Comments
Brian
30/10/2018 04:44:55 pm
How awesome! Good luck and I’ll be reading avidly
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Wow! What a move. Wishing you every success with it. I will follow your journey through your blog as we too live in s-e London (just down the road from Greenwich actually) but sometimes talk of moving out of London and I love the Scandinavian way of life and their education system! #thesatsesh
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31/10/2018 02:25:15 pm
How really exciting. There are definitely similarities in the way the Dutch and the Scandinavians raise their children. I love the sense of self responsibility and the freedom that children are giving here. Best of luck with the move and I'll be interested to read all about it. #thesatsesh
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1/11/2018 10:30:21 am
What a life changer! All the very best on your move. I must admit, Scandinavian life has always appealed. #ABloggingGoodTime
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2/11/2018 06:11:15 am
\Very best of luck. I am assuming, nonetheless, there are deeper reasons for this move?
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2/11/2018 07:31:27 am
What a fabulous experience. Good luck with it. I think this is brilliant xx
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2/11/2018 03:54:46 pm
A brave move ... looking forward to hearing about your experiences #BlogCrush
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3/11/2018 03:58:09 pm
I've read a lot about the differences between the Nordic countries and how we do things here in the States. I'm pretty eager to hear your observations #blogginggoodtime
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4/11/2018 03:33:28 pm
As a Swede who’s moved to the UK (with English hubby and our Swedish born boy), I’m reading this with mixed feelings and a suspicion that you might be wearing rose-tinted glasses. However, a positive midset can sometimes make all the difference (as can a healthy budget too, lol) so perhaps Stockholm will turn out to be everything you dream of and more. I certainly wish you all the best!! X #thesatsesh (a bit late with my comment...)
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Dave
4/11/2018 03:56:44 pm
Hej! Almost certainly :) I've only lived in Sweden for short periods before so this will be a big shift. There are culture shocks and downsides of living anywhere so Ill be looking out for them too
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5/11/2018 03:39:44 pm
Hello Dave,
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7/11/2018 01:32:20 pm
I think this is a great move! Living in the U.S. I can say I have been very tempted to pack up and leave for a nicer place to live. I won't do that but I think people who do, for whatever reason, are brave people because its hard to leave everything and everyone you know behind. I wish you the best of luck. Scandinavia sounds like a great place to raise a child! #ABloggingGoodTime
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7/11/2018 08:49:17 pm
Wow what an exciting new chapter ! I'm always intrigued by the Scandinavian way of life . They just seem to get it right when it comes to child rearing . I'll look forward to hearing all about your adventures!! #blogcrush
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9/11/2018 07:09:33 pm
How amazing?! Little bear will have an amazing time growing up in a different country and way of life, you will all have amazing stories to tell I'm sure!
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