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More and more dads want their turn at bringing up the baby. Dave (Little Bear's Pappa) is no exception and he's split parenting down the middle with his wife: taking Shared Parental Leave and working part-time to look after the tiny troll
Being half Swedish, the Little Swenglish Bear also has some Scandinavian expectations on his Pappa. There, dads are able to play a much bigger role in childcare, and dads are increasingly wanting that in the UK too! The blog - Raising Little Bear - follows dad's turn at bringing up the baby, and shares thoughts on what it's like being a full-time dad in London, and how far we have to go before people can put similar expectations on both parents. Popular posts |
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Over two and a half years ago, life took a dramatic turn for my wife and me. After 2 days of labour, our first baby, Little Bear, was born. As any parent will know, your first baby turns your life upside-down. You both fondly look back at the time before, when you had freedom, spontaneity, and could be bothered to argue about where someone put the toothpaste lid. And of course, you look nonplussed at anyone complaining of 'tiredness' after they've had more than a luxurious couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep. But after the first few weeks, you start to realise it may just have been worth it after all.
Right from the start I wanted to play a big role in the Little Bear's life. Sure, it's tough taking the responsibility for bringing up a little person, but I feel I have a right as a dad to the ups as well as the downs (and I want my wife to make me some more money while I play with the baby).
My wife and I agreed that, in true Swedish spirit, we were in this together from the start (aside from pregnancy and labour which was a relatively one-sided effort I'll admit). We decided to split our baby duties equally, at first with the downs of sharing nights and nappy-changing, then the ups of play-time, feeding and on to Sharing Parental Leave and after.
Right from the start I wanted to play a big role in the Little Bear's life. Sure, it's tough taking the responsibility for bringing up a little person, but I feel I have a right as a dad to the ups as well as the downs (and I want my wife to make me some more money while I play with the baby).
My wife and I agreed that, in true Swedish spirit, we were in this together from the start (aside from pregnancy and labour which was a relatively one-sided effort I'll admit). We decided to split our baby duties equally, at first with the downs of sharing nights and nappy-changing, then the ups of play-time, feeding and on to Sharing Parental Leave and after.
Shared Parental Leave, introduced in 2015 in the UK, lets dad take any parental leave that mum hasn't used after she's given birth. So now we're all free as parents to choose how we share responsibility for our kids, right? Nope. My wife and I are lucky that this can work for us, but we're a very small minority. For many couples it's not the right thing to do. But many who may want to really share parenting leave can't because of the limits of the law, their circumstances, and social pressures on both dad and mum.
Luckily it worked out for us. With my wife earning more we could miss my salary less than her's, and with a good employer I felt safe to take the step into the unknown. So I was able to join the few dads (~2-4%) who are lucky enough to be able to share Parental Leave in the first year. In June, I became the main caregiver to Little Bear at home, whilst my wife, having taken the first 6 months, returned to work. So here we go!
Luckily it worked out for us. With my wife earning more we could miss my salary less than her's, and with a good employer I felt safe to take the step into the unknown. So I was able to join the few dads (~2-4%) who are lucky enough to be able to share Parental Leave in the first year. In June, I became the main caregiver to Little Bear at home, whilst my wife, having taken the first 6 months, returned to work. So here we go!